waiting

Like most cancer patients you await your scans with trepidation. I stay positive and moving forward but there is always that moment when I wonder what if? I know that some day I will forget I had cancer even if it is just for a moment. This past month has been one of waiting--waiting for my surgery--not happening yet...waiting for my lung biopsy results...don't have them yet. So far nothing is showing up but that, I have been informed, doesn't really mean anything! All through the waiting I am driving kids to school, helping with homework, making meals etc. UGH. I am waiting for the doctor who was supposed to do my biopsy to return from NYC to read the results of my biopsy. So far it looks like scar tissue from the pneumonia--same place in my lung as that etc. So we shall see. Not too worried but really to sit around and hope for TB instead of cancer is really an odd position to be in--TB being the better of two diagnosis's.  REally what is this world I now inhabit that TB is the better of two choices. I, personally, am hoping for scar tissue! Come on that is what I want it to be.