Having cancer...having chemo...the aftermath

Conversations you never thought you would have---
Hate the word remission---I like Cancer Free and so does my Cancer Free pal B...We are SO not in remission and we are SO CANCER FREE...
another term like that is no evidence of disease---remember the word is dis---ease--meaning it happens when you are not at ease---need to meditate more that is for sure.

Went into one of those bra shops for women like me---well that was depressing ---I stood there and there were two women in the two  dressing rooms and one was waiting and I thought if I had to wait I would just burst into tears in a heartbeat. Having cancer and having cancer treatment is kind of like a death ---after the funeral everyone comes over and brings food and then a week later those same well meaning people  are wondering when you are going to get over it and the truth is part of you never does get over it. It shows up at unexpected moments in your life and slams you to the ground.

So some days I am just fine--most days I am just fine then a day or a moment comes up and I just feel the rug pulled out from under me. I never know what will start it and luckily I can let it go. It helps if I feel I can help someone...
there is a woman I know in town who just had her first chemo and I ran into her on her day 5 and she is doing good. It felt good to stand in the parking lot and talk about what it is like and what it will be like and know that my experience can help someone else.

So I must get back to writing the book and get it going so I can try to sell it ----
And make magic from my mess--I have a friend who says make your mess your messege ---I am going to make magic!!!!
Merry Christmas everyone.