When I started this whole journey thing--the cancer thing I was blessed that my friends recognized the same optimistic person they had always known. I stayed upbeat most of the time and they let me--no one I truly loved looked at me with sorrowful expressions on their faces. One of my close but more recent friends let me "set the tone" and just encouraged me along even though she had never seen me when the chips were down. Other friends who have known me for many years did the same thing. They sent me funny emails and photos of their kids. My longest friend(we avoid oldest when we can) sent me the most amazing video--she shot out her window of snow falling with Central Park in the background--you could hear the hush... Lovely thoughts from loving friends and family.
There were a couple who weren't so positive--no matter, I have so many true friends.
Now I have a friend going through something too. Something that will cause people to talk among themselves and I reminded her of what a terrific friend she has been to me with her positive attitude and letting me set the tone. I told her, "People will take there cues from you and the way you handle it all." She is amazing and strong and setting the tone as we speak.