okay so I am not always strong so today I looked for help:

I have been up since 4:30 with one kid with a stomach flu---I have been depressed about postponing my surgery. So this morning in between trips to the daughter's room I searched a few messege boards. Before now they weren't always a place I wanted to spend time. My hold on my attitude was strong and I made it through. Today I looked for good attitude in the face of all this cancer crap. I found it. People worse off--people better off than me.  I realize I am lucky as I am done with the "hard" part. Truly I know that I am ...but waiting to have surgery is its own hell as well. I feel I am waiting to go back to square one. I know that I am not but my heart needs some education. I had a long talk with my plastic surgeon yesterday and he reminded me to use my head cause my heart will make me crazy right now. And I remembered the nurse who said "think of how you want to look a year from now not how you want to look tomorrow." 

After posting a few missives on bc forums about my surgery wait and tamoxifen I went searching for different things and came across the woman who's links I have posted. She has started a foundation which provides breast self exam info to 5-12 graders across the country. This is something I am passionate about as the mother of 2 girls. I was never taught really how to do one. I read in a magazine etc but not really taught. We are taught to drive but we are not taught how to do this one simple thing that can save a life.
I like how she wrote her story on her blog so that is the link I have included..you can also go to her photo essay in Time--now she seems to have more pain then I did but her journey was definitely tougher.  I didn't find the injections of saline into my expander to be a big deal at all. But --it does take you on a journey that was photographically interesting--it is graphic a bit too so look with caution.

I do know that when I fall down there is always someone to pick me up. For whatever reason God's plan has me on this road I never imagined walking down and there are many friends along the way who pick me up daily. Right now I needed a boost and I found it through looking at my photos of the Revlon Walk, going to online forums, reading emails, writing here, and most of all from my kids, my husband and from being needed as a mom to wipe a brow.

Get In Touch Foundation - Mary Ann's Story