One lesson I would like to learn and pass on is to not judge others based on my own experience. Of course, how else am I to judge them? Ahh, there in lies the rub! It is not to me to judge. As I learn to be a better mother to our two girls I am stuffed kicking and screaming back into the horrors of middle school politics and stuffed back into the joys of best friends forever and days that drift along and summers that last and all that. I realize that the greatest gift I could give our girls is to learn this one valuable lesson:
We are all growing and changing. The kids their age are growing and changing at a rapid rate--they are trying out new things as quickly as they breathe and this includes behavior. How to be a friend, how to stand up to someone, how to be true to your own beliefs, likes and dislikes are sometimes easy and sometimes difficult. Everything depends on the home life and values they are raised with. I have two very strong centered kids but even they have a learning curve. I hope to teach them to have patience as their friends, from different backgrounds, come to grips with their own strengths and weaknesses. Some will be right there with them on the path and some will be ahead and many more will be trying to catch up.
Our girls are lucky---they have two parents who love and respect each other and them. They have an extended family which is strong enough to lead the world. Mom and Dad are home and eating with them and playing with them constantly until we throw them to nature to find their own fun in our backyard. I envy these two girls and I appreciate their kindness.
How are they doing---The kids are just fine--they are learning my energy curve--they don't fear bald headed women. S even prefers the bald to the short wig--They are relying on their Dad and others when I am not up to being the mom I was...really it is only after 7pm and for the first 6 days after chemo. They have shown kindness for me and CP and each other that is just amazing. And yet they are still growing and changing. This part of their path will teach them a great deal. The hardest part of being a parent is letting your kids make their own mistakes. it makes then find out who they are and what they are made of.
What a happy holiday season!